anythingbutblue: (surprised)
Faye Valentine ([personal profile] anythingbutblue) wrote2006-02-13 11:02 pm

(no subject)

It's cold outside.

Really cold.

But Faye's never let the cold stop her before. She gets a coat (her coat, which she asked the bar for) out of her closet and pulls it on, then her gloves, and doesn't bother to bundle up more warmly than that.

She steps out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. The door automatically locks as it closes, and she does a double take when she spots a familiar figure out of the corner of her eye. She stops in surprise and stands with her back against the door, almost like she's been somehow caught in the act.

"It's you." She reaches in her pocket for her gloves. "What are you doing around here?"

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
He's not sure whether to be insulted by her tone or just glad to see a familiar face. "I live here, Faye. This is my room." He nods to the door he's just closed.

It's really Julia's room. Maybe he'll even tell her that. "Going outside? Did you have fun drinking on my tab?" Now he really is smiling: it doesn't matter to him how much she drank. "I told you I was really bad at poker."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
He moves over to where Faye is, setting one hand on the wall on either side of her, leaning forward. "You mean Julia and I haven't been keeping you up at night? We'll have to get working on our noise level."

Backing away, Gren laughs. "But really: you haven't heard the music? I've been trying not to play too loudly late at night. Now that I know you're next door, I might make a different effort to serenade you, Faye. You're a fairy, after all. And fairies deserve beautiful music."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
"Death's made me bold." He grins at her. "You'd think with all the people here, I'd have better luck than I do. So I have to turn to teasing, just to keep my skills honed."

The truth is that he's always kind of liked Faye. There's something about her that's attractive, an edge of vulnerability mixed with this veneer of toughness. He liked her even though she shot at him.

He'd never let something as simple as a gun be a stumbling block.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
"I was going to go downstairs, yeah. You want to go with me?"

Even though he doesn't owe it to her, he'll buy her a drink. And he glances at the gloves she's pulled on; she was wearing them that day in Blue Crow when she wanted to take on a whole street gang herself.

"You thinking of beating somebody up?"

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
A momentary flash of despair crosses his face, but he recovers quickly. "I get restless here all the time, Faye. Every day, every night. I haven't been a real fan of captivity since I was in prison." He keeps pace with her, step for step, and he's not doing it to be threatening; it's almost subconscious and it's certainly unintended.

"Mind if I walk with you? I kind of feel like going outside."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
"It's probably a good thing you can't hear me through the wall." He's got a small smile on his face. "I'm working on a new song and it's not there yet, and they always sound terrible until they're further along than this."

As they get to the door, they make the turn into the bar and then straight out the other door leading to the lake. He hasn't got his jacket, but it doesn't matter: he's dead. He's not going to catch a cold and die. He's not going to get sick. None of that stuff even happens to him any more. He knows he's got a weak, weak pulse and he knows he sleeps and eats, but those last two are out of habit more than necessity.

He also knows he's really warm all the time. Maybe it's a counterbalance to Julia's coldness or to the climate on Callisto or maybe it isn't: maybe it's just what death is to him.

What it has to be. Gren stuffs his hands in the front pockets of his pants and they start walking through the dry snow, the full moon up above lighting the path for them.

And then he turns to Faye. "How come you're so angry all the time, Faye?"

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
"You sure seem like it."

He shrugs: he could be wrong, but he doesn't think he is. One thing he knows he brings to the table, no matter which table he sits at, is empathy. His mistakes tend toward being too kind, if there really is such a thing.

It's as nice out here tonight as it was last night when he talked to Charlie, and for a moment he thinks that for a man who says women aren't his style, he sure knows more females than males at this place. Maybe the universe is trying to tell him something, but no: he doubts that. Seriously.

"You know" (but probably she doesn't), "there are a lot of things that've happened to me in my life that I wish were different." He almost tells her that he's told one more person about what happened to him in prison, but she probably doesn't care about that. She's a hard one to read. "And I bet you could say the same thing. I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you or get you back to my couchside confessional or any of that stuff, Faye. I think you're interesting. But I do think you're really mad about a lot of things. So if you ever want to talk about that, I might be a pretty safe person to vent to."

He's not sure why he's offering: maybe it's because he craves human contact so greatly. "You don't have to take me up on it, but if you decide you want to, you can just knock on my door."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
He shrugs, almost helplessly. "Because you move with music in your step."

It's the way he sees things, and it's the way he's always seen things, though it's been more acute, for lack of a better term, since he died.

"And I don't think Julia would mind. She's pretty easy-going."

These days, anyway. Part of him thinks it would be really good for Julia to have a female to talk to instead of some man who's only part female; there are things she goes through that he just can't understand, no matter how empathetic he thinks he is.

Julia is... the blues; he's jazz. Every once in a while they mesh really nicely, but they never really understand each other, no matter how much she professes to do so.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-14 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
He shoots her a look of complete surprise, the light from the flame illuminating his eyes in the darkness.

"Mars. Why?"

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
"You thought I was born on Titan?" Grinning almost fiercely, he shakes his head, letting a moment's silence intervene. "No. I went to Titan because it seemed like a good idea at the time; I was trying to get over being dumped if you really want to know, and distance and the idea of being surrounded by other men sounded pretty good to me."

It's one of his life's patterns, and he sees that with startling clarity for the first time.

"Why'd you become a bounty hunter?"

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
"That's kind of how I felt about going to Titan. Looking back on it, there were other things I could have done, but I chose not to do them for a lot of reasons that don't make too much sense now. But I was pretty young and pretty fragile and I really wanted to get away: I don't know. It was an opportunity, I guess."

He stops there, looking out over the lake. It's cold but he's not.

"My heart was kind of broken, and I didn't want to have to think about that. Turned out I thought about it more on Titan than I probably would have at home. I didn't make a very good soldier, but at least I didn't let anyone in my squadron get hurt on my watch. Even if I didn't kill as many enemies as I probably should have."

He didn't know that the relationship that drove him to Titan would be his last. Maybe in a romantic and desolate kind of way he had thoughts of dying in the war, but he never really wanted that at all. Just another silly notion: one of those thoughts that runs through a person's head when things are out of his control.

"What did you do before you became a bounty hunter?" He could ask her questions all night. After all, the time they met he answered a lot questions more than she did.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
He laughs quietly, hearing his own words from long ago echoed back at him.

"You have a good memory, Faye."

You distanced yourself from them. You didn't want to be alone, so you left them.

Something like that.

He thinks he learned his lesson the other night about betting when Faye's around, but if he were going to bet, he'd put money on the fact that she sure has been wanted. In more than one way.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
"You did?"

He never knew that about her.

"But you don't any more?" That's good, probably. Hopefully.

Maybe.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
He gazes down at her: she looks so petite and almost childlike out here in the moonlight.

She's anything but that and he knows it, but still, he finds her aura fascinating. "I think we all have things in our past we're not really proud of, or happy about, or even things we want to remember." Everyone has amnesia to a degree, but it's usually selective. "But wasn't there anything about your past that meant something to you?"

If not, that's one of the saddest things he's ever heard.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
He watches her thoughtfully as she walks away, but he hastens to catch up with her. "Faye, stop." Gren puts a hand on her shoulder.

"No one can ever go back."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
"It's all right."

He does know the half of it. He knows a lot more about it than she might think. After Titan and prison he couldn't go back either. "My life before the war seems like someone else's story. Like some fantasy. After I escaped from prison, I couldn't go back home with a bounty on my head. And even if I could have, things were different. I was different."

Just like he did that night on Callisto, he reaches for her hand. This time, though, no street gang is chasing after them; the only person she needs protection from is herself. He looks into her eyes.

"I'm sorry you couldn't go back home either."

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
"Must be my inner preacher inspiring you to disclose all your secrets." He smiles. "I think Spike was right. Not that the past doesn't matter -- if he even said that -- but that you still have a future. Just think of all the opportunities waiting for you to reinvent yourself."

Even gloved, Faye's hand is small in his. He looks down on it like it's the most curious thing he's ever seen, a why am I holding your hand? look on his face. Letting go, he looks away.

"Want a drink or something?" He doesn't look back at her face yet.

[identity profile] bothbutneither.livejournal.com 2006-02-15 07:40 am (UTC)(link)
He laughs, like she's just scored points against him and in a way she has. He's still chuckling as she walks off, and he calls after her.

"Take care, Faye."

Polite, he waits until she's back inside before following. He doesn't want her to think he's stalking or anything. Instead, he turns into the bar and gets himself a cup of tea. He's not cold: it just sounds good.

And when he gets it, he toasts an invisible Faye with his cup before heading back upstairs.